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By Peter Oberth

Truth in Advertising 2011 (What movie posters SHOULD look like)

Continuing my "truth in advertising" campaign, here is a collection of movie posters from 2011 featuring quotes from all your favorite Shakefire.com writers.  It may not be nice, but at least it's the truth.  Don't be fooled again!  click on the poster for the full review...

JANUARY

"Not all souls can be saved, and that includes this film." -Matt


"The Rite makes all the wrong mistakes" -Matt

FEBRUARY

"Painfully slow pacing" -Ryan


"A predictable story" -Matt

MARCH

"This is one suck that I cannot embrace" -Matt


"A huge lack of respect for the original story" -Ryan


"Mars Needs Moms is a jumbled mess" -Matt

APRIL

"Insidious leaves you neither frightened nor satisfied" -Matt


"An empty shell of a film" -Matt

MAY

"The charm from the first films has officially worn off" -Matt


"You know everything that’s going to happen ahead of time" -Matt

JUNE

"It's all so mundane" -AJ


"Everyone is secretly hoping that this marks the end of the Transformers series" -Matt

JULY

"The film doesn’t do anything spectacularly well" -Matt


"How Paul Blart Got His Groove Back" -Ryan


"Plenty of friends here, but very little benefits." -Matt


"This is one movie that not even all the lasers and space ships in the universe could save" -Matt

AUGUST

"Much of the humor wears thin and it becomes just another comedy" -Matt


"A rather empty shell of a film" -Matt


"It’s a futile attempt at making Saldana the next Jason Bourne or Evelyn Salt" -Matt


"(Features) the horror stereotype where everyone in the film is an idiot" -Matt

SEPTEMBER

"If you like predictable plots or getting embarrased for the main character, then by all means, go..." -Jennifer


"Straw Dogs is a plethora of things but most of all, it's pointless and unnecessary." -Ryan


"Dolphin Tale has its moments but ultimately doesn’t leave a lasting impression on the audience." -Matt


"If you’re looking for another R-rated comedy home run, look elsewhere. It appears that winning streak is finally over" -Matt

OCTOBER

"This movie is an insult to movies, to art, to humanity." -Patty


"Unlike the blood of the imitating creature, The Thing just doesn't pop." -Ryan


"You’re watching a near carbon-copy remake of the original, cheesy scenes and all" -Matt


"(Rowan Atkinson's) style of comedy has ultimately fallen flat" -Matt

NOVEMBER

"Yes, there are some great performances, but they are few and far between." -Matt


"I wash my hands of this Twilight mess." -Patty

DECEMBER

"Mediocre...Typical...Average...Shallow." -Matt


"A Game of Shadows unfortunately fails to develop" -Matt

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