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Pandora's picture
By Pandora

Abuse Is Not Justified

I have been trying to stay away from the Chris Brown Rihanna thing as best I could and I will go ahead and say that this blog is not actually about either of them or what happened. I have no desire to pass judgment on that situation as the courts are there to do that. What really upsets me though are the things I am seeing people post and write based around this event. Sure it is one thing to stand by your idol in rough times but the reasons people are giving bother me to my very core.

I am seeing adults & teens posting things such as “She doesn’t look so bad now”, “She hit him first”, and “She went through his phone”. These excuses that people are so willing to throw at the topic of abuse scares me and actually pisses me off. There are tons of people both women and men in abusive relationships that are being told that they deserved to be beaten because of something they did by the person abusing them. And now those people are seeing on TV and the internet others validating this statement? It is sickening.

If you are in an abusive relationship I am going to go ahead and say right now that “You do not deserve to be beaten”. Even if you did go through a cell phone or sneak a peek at your significant other’s email, this does not mean they are allowed to punch you or throw you around. Not at all. Sure if you invade someone’s privacy that person may get upset, possibly raise their voice, but this is not an action that warrants creating bruises.

Now what if someone slaps the other person first? Sure I believe in self defense. Ultimately though if you protect yourself and the other person stops coming at you yet you continue to throw things or attack that person it has gone from defense to offense. Also when did we start judging abuse by whether or not the bruises last longer than a week?

I think people, both parents and media, have a wonderful opportunity here to reach out and address abusive relationships. To let people know that there is help available, that it isn’t deserved, that it is not something to be embarrassed over, and that if you need help please reach out for it. It may not be an easy road to get out of one, trust me I know; but you deserve better and a chance at a happy life.

Domestic Violence Hotline: 800.621.HOPE (4673)
National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.