Norm of the North

There are some movie you instantly know will be destined for the dollar bin at your local Wal-Mart and even there will struggle to sell. Norm of the North happens to be one of these films, which begs me to question how it is even getting a theatrical release in the first place. From the sloppy animation to the lowbrow humor, there is little to take away from the film. Perhaps other than a headache that is.

Norm (Rob Schneider) is an Arctic polar bear whose home is threatened when a developmental housing company from New York enacts plans to suburbanize the Arctic. In an effort to save his home, Norm hitches a ride to New York City to become the spokesperson for the corporation where he will then inform the people that they must save the Arctic. It’s quite a monumental task for a single polar bear to accomplish. Oh, and he’s able to talk to and be understood by humans too, for some reason. I guess that helps.

Norm of the North is produced by Splash Entertainment, an animation studio responsible mostly for children’s television shows, and that’s exactly what the film feels like; a straight-to-DVD children’s program. The animation feels dated and bland, and all the environments appear empty. It’s not a good film to look at, and the humor is even worse.

The majority of jokes can be boiled down to twerking and bodily fluids. I never imagined I would see a polar bear shake his butt for an inordinate amount of time, and yet here I am. It’s not a pretty sight. Norm also has his own group of Lemmings that help him out in anyway. They’re the B-movie equivalent of Minions, only instead of actually being funny they just fart and pee wherever. It may have been a little funny the first time, but by the second and third times it’s just annoying.

It’s disappointing, too, because Norm of the North actually has a surprisingly decent voice cast consisting of Heather Graham, Ken Jeong, Gabriel Iglesias, Loretta Devine, and even Bill Nighy. Unfortunately their characters are just as dull as the animation style.

Norm of the North is the disturbing result of what would happen if Happy Feet and Minions had a love child together. Kids will be bored. Parents will be disappointed. In the end, no one wins.