The Spy Next Door

Word began to spread like wildfire that Jackie Chan, The Drunken Master himself, would be appearing in a film whose plot usually marks the end or at least a bump in any action stars career. Vin Diesel did it in The Pacifier and Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop so what makes The Spy Next Door any different? Not much.

Chan plays a CIA Agent whose just made the biggest capture of his life and has decided to retire and make a life with his girlfriend. The only problem is that marrying her is a package deal that involves her three children who dislike him so what better way to bond then for Chan to baby-sit while his girlfriend is away. Childish pranks ensue, bad guys pop into the picture, and there might also be a mole working in the CIA. With so many plot angles to spring fresh jokes and original story from the film simply never pulls away from what has been dubbed, “Generically Funny”. Will you laugh? Sure. Will you remember anything from this film or find yourself in a mad rush to grab it when its released on DVD? Absolutely not.

This film was not destined to be great nor had anyone at the studio, obviously, tried to make it so. Looking at the writers and director the film was set up to make some quick money without much hope. Director Brian Levant’s film history includes Problem Child 2, Beethoven, both Flintstones films, and the Ice Cube film Are We There Yet? in which Cube baby-sits his girlfriends kids (sounds familiar). Writers Jonathan Bernstein and James Greer are the writing duo responsible for Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (enough said), and Gregory Poirier’s last screenplay was for the incredible time traveling flop A Sound of Thunder. Poirier however did work the story for National Treasure 2 which is a bit of light in his resume but apparently everyone involved was in it for the paycheck as the film in all categories is simply lackluster. Worth a rental for the kids at best. As always the final decision is yours.