This is how "Brainjacked" played out in my head.

"Garage Productions presents "Brainjacked," the worst movie ever, coming to DVD in the near future.

It's really that bad. Was this crap shot in someone's garage?

Here's the opening scene (Don't worry, I won't spoil it for you): Tristan is in his room trying to sleep amidst the vile noises drifting in from the other part of the house. His stepfather films "adult movies" using Tristan's mom as the star. How gross is that? So gross.

But what's worse is that the acting (in both movies) is so bad it's not even remotely believeable. So Tristan gets into a fight with the stepdad and leaves the house in a huff. This now technically brands him as "a runaway" (dun dun DUN!) and that's where Laney (Somali Rose) enters the story. She finds Tristan alone in a park feeling sorry for himself (and wait, they both get migraines. Wow, they have something in common!). Long story short, Tristan "goes home" with Laney to the cult house where she lives with other runaways who have found peace and solace with Dr. Cross. He knows how to cure the migraines and promises paradise.

With a drill.

Yep. A drill.

Dr. Cross has perfected a procedure called Trepanation that rids these kids of their pain. Trepanation is basically drilling into their skulls (without a sterilized environment or anethesia) and implanting mind control capsules. I'll stop there so I don't give it away. What happens to Tristan and the others is pretty telegraphed and dull. There's enough fake gore if you're into that sort of thing, but the end product is just so bad.

Directed by Andrew Allan, there were times when it seemed like there were two directors. There are two montage/dream scenes that had an inkiling of actual direction and storytelling, but the rest of it was complete bunk. And the acting was abysmal. Rod Grant (Dr. Cross) tried his darndest to do his best Jeffrey Combs ("Re-Animator") rip off, but he failed. Miserably.

The score to "Brainjacked" reminded me of "Tales from the Darkside" so much that I was waiting to hear  "but not as brightly lit....a DARKSIDE."  Do yourself a favor and skip this one. You know, Deon Taylor's movies are looking better and better.....

"Brainjacked" is available on DVD August 31.