There aren't really any words to describe how terrbile "Southern Gothic" really is.

It's not "arthouse" and it's not "grindhouse," it's just bad. From the acting to uncomfortable pacing of each scene, William Forsythe ("Raising Arizona"-the only movie I will admit seeing him in) should never have accepted this role. "Southern Gothic" has vampires, strippers, a drunk that wants to redeem himself, and a 10-year old kid, aptly named, Hope. Don't kids kill most movies?

"Southern Gothic" wants to be one of those "hey, people with bad luck get a second chance sometimes, don't they?" movies, but it fails. Horribly.

The plot is transparent and the acting is worse. Preacher Enoch Pitt (Forsythe) is looking to build God's army. Only no one knows that he's a (wait for it) vampire. That's right, bloodsucker, creature of the night, undead bastard vampire. He frequents the local strip club where he meets Starla (DuPort) , the single-mom with a heart of gold and uses his persuasion (or lap dogs) to get get Starla to submit to him and become his undead queen, but Starla has a kid and will do anything to keep her safe.

Enter Hazel Fortune (Vazquez), a man who has been dealt his fair share of bad luck in his life and bouncer at the club where Starla dances. He manages to become Starla's knight in shining armor when he offers to sit Hope during the day and look after her while Starla works two jobs to make ends meet. The pair hit it off until things just get worse from there: Fortune gets beat up, the kid gets kidnapped, the mom....why should I spoil it for you?

There are really no redeeming qualities about this film. There is only one decent non-dialogue scene in the middle of the film that is any good. Mark Young should stick to editing and not directing since most of his good work is done here. The script is abysmal and the delivery is even worse.

Not good.