There are a number of shows in which totally deplorable scumbags save the day and win the affection of the audience in spite of it all: "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," "Two and a Half Men," and "House," among many other successful shows. The first season of "Call Me Fitz" tries to fit into this genre, but it just doesn't work, though I can't put my finger on why.

Maybe it's the fact that Canadians are just too darn nice to write a legitimate, salty asshole character. (Sorry, fellow countrymen.) Or maybe it's that they only succeeded with half the equation; those shows' jerk-off main characters have just enough of a conscience to still be likable enough to keep watching. Grade D scoundrel Richard "Fitz" Fitzpatrick (Jason Priestley) is -- you guessed it -- a used car salesman who gives the stereotype life. He lies, cheats, philanders, and generally makes himself as unloveable as possible. People like this almost certainly have deep-seated self-esteem issues, at which point Larry (Ernie Grunwald), a man claiming to be Fitz's inner conscience (please, as if this swine has one), steps in and starts attempting to take Fitz's amorphous, mangled joke of a soul and turn him into a good person. I have more of a chance of becoming an astrophysicist than Fitz has of seeing the error of his ways, and that made the whole season so frustrating to watch. You know that friend who keeps making terrible decisions, not because they don't know any better, but because they just feel that bad about themselves? Self-sabotage isn't entertaining in real life, and it certainly isn't entertaining here, even with television writing at the helm -- which, by the way, is pretty lackluster. For a show that's won this many awards, I expected much better writing.

There's nothing redeeming about Fitz as a character. Time and time again, he proves what a garbage human being he is to his very core, and instead of endearing himself to me through witty one-liners and glimpses of goodness that never came, I just wanted someone to whack him on the head with a shovel and start digging. I honestly can't remember a single show I've watched where I felt such strong loathing for not only the main character, but for every single enabling character around him. Yeah, the other characters are just as bad, if not worse. I almost was on the psychotic girl scout's side when she started shooting up the car dealership. I would want to do the same thing to a guy who tampered with a police investigation so that he didn't have to go to jail for a crime he 100% committed.

Maybe the problem is Jason Priestley. I get that Fitz is supposed to be irresistibly handsome, which is how he gets away with as much as he does (especially with the ladies), but buddy, no amount of pretty face can fix a woefully one-faceted character. Sure, there are people in the world who are this loathsome and contemptible, but they don't get television shows based around them. Fitz has to have a certain amount of puppy dog manipulation skills. No one is fooled by him, except maybe the women he somehow convinces to sleep with him.

"Call Me Fitz" is just one big, frustrating, unbelievable stretch of the imagination. Hopefully the second season can make some serious improvements in characterization.