What a dog of a film.

And if you think that opener is bad, you have no business being anywhere near this "film" since that line is on par with the wit and humor found herein. The basic premise of this kid's movie is this: a vampire dog is shipped from Transylvania to Lugosi County, presumbly in Anytown, USA. The kid who adopts him (or who he adopts, depending on your perspective) is new in town and thus immediately awkward in every situation in which he finds himself. His mom got a new job as the music teacher at his new school...and the cliches just continue from there.

Here's the deal: I get the need for family-friendly entertainment. I've got two kids and we have lots of children's movies, many of them cheesy and goofy. Those qualities often come with the territory. But Vampire Dog is so boring and lame that my 4 year-old got bored with it within 10 minutes. And she adores the entire Air Buddy/Buddy Puppies movie series from Disney. Those flicks, while incredibly predictable and silly, are at least somewhat entertaining. There's a certain pacing that works for young attention spans and among other minor details, that's one of the big things missing from Vampire Dog. Beyond that, the script is weak, the story is weak...yes, there's a pattern here and it's not a good one.

I won't waste any more of your time, just so long as you don't waste any of your family's time on this. Skip it and pick up something from Disney or Pixar or, well, you get the point.