I've never seen an Elvira movie before. I've heard the song. But never anything involving the actual goth-princess of cinema. So once hearing that I'd be given the opportunity to watch one of her Macabre films, naturally, I was excited. Maybe it was a classic case of word-of-mouth forming unfair expectations, but something felt terribly wrong with Elvira's Movie Macabre. Wrong and familiar. 

For those unaware, Elvira's Movie Macabre is a film series that showcases some of the worst B-movie horror films you can dig up, all with snarky commentary from the dark mistress herself. The films this time around come in the form of The Satanic Rites of Dracula and The Werewolf of Washington. Both absolutely terrible. Yet, this is the premise. These movies were selected merely because they are so unwatchable. What makes them enjoyable is the commentary provided by Elvira, who hates the movies just as much as we do. Unfortunately for both Elvira and the audience, the commentary is not only extremely rare, but flat-out unfunny. 

See, this idea has been done before, by a number of groups. And while Elvira may be one of the first to attempt it, she's definitely a far distance away from being in the top percentile of well-done parodies. The best to come to mind is Mystery Science Theater 3000, whose premise is almost exactly the same, except MST3K forces their audience to watch it with them, allowing constant commentary and jokes. Elvira's Movie Macabre plays the film in it's entirety with Elvira's head popping up every 10 minutes or so with a pun or joke that passes as groan-worthy (I.E "More like the Satanic Wrongs of Dracula"). 

Watching these horrible movies on their own is torture enough, but Elvira's boring and repetitive jokes give the audience absolutely zero appeal to keep the DVD player running any longer than they have to. Elvira may have been talented at one point (She does a pretty spot on Sarah Palin, I'll give her that), but the humor and appeal are completely gone now. Saying goodbye is never easy, but Elvira's Movie Macabre makes it seem more appealing by the minute. 

In terms of parody franchises, Elvira's Movie Macabre is one of the worst, as it suffers from unfunny commentary and an all-too-obviously bored host. Elvira may be the Queen of Darkness, but she is far from the Queen of comedy.